


We Have Ways

by ABackupHat



Series: SburbCom [1]
Category: Homestuck, XCom - Fandom
Genre: AU, Autopsies, Crossover, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Report Format, SCom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-03 00:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABackupHat/pseuds/ABackupHat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of autopsy, interrogation and speculative reports from Dr Lalonde during the days of the Human/Troll wars, detailing the physiology and psychology of the Alternian Empire and its soldiers.</p><p>Part of the SburbCom series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Autopsy Report - Dersite Pawn

**SburbCom Research and Development Division**

**Autopsy Report No. 01-012 (Abridged)**

**Subject: Dersite Clone Warrior**

**Presiding: Doctor R. Lalonde**

I performed an autopsy on the aforementioned subject at **LAB 2D** on **FEBURARY 13TH 2014** @ **1000 hours.**

**CIRCUMSTANCES**

The decedent is a small humanoid of bipedal configuration, part of the hostile invading force. It was recovered as part of Operation  **[REDACTED]**. After Action Report camera footage confirms death by gunshot from a .32mm rifle wielded by Sq. Egbert.

**EXTERNAL EXAMINATION**

The body is of a refrigerated, unembalmed, bipedal humanoid, jet black in color. Age and gender are not identifiable. The body weighs 98 pounds, measures 53 inches in length and is stocky. The skin appears to be some form of carapace, with a smooth texture and visible articulation points at the neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, finger joints, hips, knees, feet and toes. 

On the upper front torso are two wounds consistent with bullet wounds from a standard issue SCom assault rifle. The bullets were removed prior to this autopsy (see linked file). On the upper rear torso are minor abrasions caused by the subject dropping to the ground upon expiration. On the back of the right hand is a white electronic barcode, an inch in width. No other discerning marks can be found, consistent with previous autopsies of similar specimens.

Examination of the eyes reveals totally white "mock-sclera" with no visible pupils. The mouth is a simple line with no lips, with large upper and lower teeth resembling the molar teeth of humans (see orthodontic report). A grey tongue is also present.

No genitalia are observed on the specimen's exterior.

**CLOTHING**

The subject was clothed in a tunic of light material and a cap of similar make. The design appears to be heraldic in nature, consisting of bright reds, pinks, greens and yellows. Both items have been delivered to Doctor J. English as per regulations.

**PERSONAL ITEMS**

Recovered from the corpse was a spear made of a light, tough alloy of unknown composition. The weapon is currently in storage as per regulations. No other personal items were recovered.

**AUTOPSY NOTES**

Initial incision was made by Dr. Cal from the top of the torso at the joining of the neck to the belly. The cranium was also opened horizontally. Sections of the limbs were also removed. Due to the resistant nature of the decedent's carapace, rib cutters were used to make the incisions. Otherwise, standard tools were used.

The chest cavity of the body is identical to all three previous autopsies. The chest cavity contains a pair of lungs, a heart and cardiovascular system, a simplistic digestive system consisting of a stomach and intestine, and a singular organ theorised to be an excretory organ connected to the intestine. Various vestigial organs suggest various systems akin to human organs such as the liver and spleen that have become useless. All of these organs are connected to the exoskeleton of the body via bone-like anchor points and tendons. There is no spine or ribcage to be observed. Damage from bullets is visible in the left lung and heart, contributing to the cause of death.

Study of the brain reveals an appearance akin to the human brain but with various differences. Structures akin to a Limbic system are present but are reduced compared to our own. The hypothalamus and pituitary gland are likewise altered. No other major differences can be observed.

The eyes of the creature are, as confirmed by prior reports, akin to insect compound eyes in that they are made of many lenses. The lenses are protected by a film of translucent skin, contributing to the blank appearance. The eyes are fairly small, suggesting origins from a low-light environment. In other respects, they are similar to human vision.

No reproductive organs are observed and no internal genitalia can be found.

The stomach contains a pale yellow liquid consistent with previous autopsies. Tests confirmed the liquid to be acidic with traces of protein, fatty acids and digestive compounds. No solids were observed. Curiously, the creature's stomach also contains traces of fructose syrup and artificial sweeteners.

The muscular system is identical to humans but with denser muscle fibers to compensate for the weight of the carapace. The articulation points of the body are made of this same muscle tissue and suggest a weak point (refer to Sgt. Strider After-Action-Report #15 for more information). Thin "bones" made of the same material as the carapace act as anchor points for the tendons. This suggests the decedent was not physically strong in life.

Chemical and toxicology reports are consistent with previous reports. No toxic chemicals are found in the blood, stomach or organs of the body. Various chemicals similar in composition to Scopolamine have been found in the brain. DNA tests are a 100% positive match with all previous cadavers of this species.

**CONCLUSIONS**

There is now no doubt about the nature of this enemy. The "Pawn," as our soldiers refer to it, is a genetically modified warrior intended to be utterly disposable. The vestigial organs that would otherwise be vital to life, the lack of protection other than the carapace and the weakened muscle structure point to severe genetic engineering to this purpose, whilst the DNA tests and the identical appearance shared by Pawns suggest some form of cloning process, the precise nature of which is unknown. The barcode, therefore, serves as an identifying mark. The simplified digestive system is intended to make supplying these grunts with sustenance as simple as possible. The presence of the Scopolamine-esque substance implies use of drugs to keep them docile, although until interrogations can be performed, this is mere speculation.

The general intent is a cheap, disposable warrior used as a scout, guard or simple "cannon fodder" in ground wars. This suggests an amazing callousness on the part of the Alternian Empire, which does not see the welfare of these troops as a concern. Whilst the use of melee weapons is in keeping with the alien doctrine of warfare, the Pawns are so ill-equipped as to be almost a joke, their presence being of no concern to our ground troops. It is likely they were part of an empire that is now a vassal of the Alternians and must serve their new masters unquestioningly. 

The lifespan of an average Pawn cannot be determined, but the lack of advanced digestive systems suggest that, without the required systems needed to feed them, they would probably die from starvation. Although the relative simplicity of their stomachs and robust organs implies they can consume even toxic or radioactive materials without much risk to their health, their inability to break down their food would be their downfall. Their primary form of sustenance is most likely some form of protein mix or ration distributed by the trolls, thus ensuring loyalty from the Pawns. On a side note, the presence of the fructose in this individual's digestive tract suggests that trolls do reward the Pawns with some sort of sugar treat, or that such a foodstuff is traded in secret.

Tactical considerations have not changed. Until the enemy tactics change to counter our own, target priorities in the field remain on the Threshecutioner and Cavalreaper units, with Pawns to be targeted if their presence proves troublesome or inhibits full use of the terrain. Due to their relative lack of protection, conventional firearms are more than enough to kill a Pawn and no special tactics should be needed when confronting one.

No practical applications of the materials from a Pawn cadaver are possible. Although using the carapace as part of bullet-resistant jackets and vests has been discussed, the manipulation of the material is troublesome enough that such an option will be impractical. Current studies are focused on identifying and breaking down the alloys used in the spear weapon for research.

**RECCOMENDED COURSE OF ACTION**

Capture a live Pawn for interrogation and study in order to provide context for genetic alterations and gain insight into the Alternian Empire's culture and military.

**Signed: Dr R. Lalonde.**

**Witnessed by Dr L. Cal and Dr A. Hussie.**

_**Vigilo Confido** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus begins SburbCom, an idea I've had for a while now. It's pretty much just an AU with the Homestuck humans in place of XCom, fighting the Alternian Empire in defence of planet Earth. The greatest challenge is that the trolls can't be translated one-to-one to the discrete species of the alien menace of XCom, so creating a brand new hierarchy for them is necessary.
> 
> The first chapter approaches the problem in one way - including different species. The chess people are here, but as slaves and vassals used as cannon fodder due to the cloning facilities they come from and their general ubiquitousness. After all, if Dad Egbert can clown over the Dersites with some cake and mangrit, how hard can it be for an organised paramilitary group? This dynamic will change in future reports, you can be sure of that!
> 
> The autopsies conform a little to the format of a real-life autopsy, but with liberties taken, otherwise I'd be here all day. Likewise, biological accuracy is ditched in favour of stuff sounding cool and semi-plausible, like in the XCom series itself.
> 
> Named trolls and characters may appear, but for now, the primary character is Mom/Roxy Lalonde, with sneaky cameos from Lil' Cal and Andrew Hussie as scientists under her employ. I imagine Cal is a bit too enthusiatic about the autopsies, whilst Hussie is his usual self about the whole thing.
> 
> Please PM or comment for any questions, and give constructive feedback if you want more!


	2. Autopsy Report - Threshecutioner

**SburbCom Research and Development Division**

**Autopsy Report No. 01-027 (Abridged)**

**Subject: Alternian Soldier (designate Threshecutioner)**

**Presiding: Doctor R. Lalonde**

I performed an autopsy on the aforementioned subject at  **LAB 3F**  on  **FEBURARY 22ND 2014**  @  **1300 hours.**

**CIRCUMSTANCES**

The decedent is an Alternian soldier, part of the hostile invading force. It was recovered as part of Operation  **[REDACTED]**. After Action Report camera footage confirms death by buckshot from a shotgun wielded by Sq. Strider.

**EXTERNAL EXAMINATION**

The body is of a refrigerated, unembalmed, bipedal humanoid. Age and gender are not identifiable. The body weighs 112 pounds, measures 64 inches in length and is thin. The skin is grey in tone with patches of deep red.

On the upper chest and left arm are multiple wounds, the spread of which is consistent with a standard issue SburbCom shotgun. The pellets were removed prior to this autopsy. On the upper rear torso are minor 1/4-1/2 inch abrasions caused by the subject dropping to the ground upon expiration. On the sides of the torso are a total of six small scars in a regular pattern down the body, starting from under the armpit and finishing above the pelvis. Across the upper torso, arms and chest of the subject are various scars and healed lacerations and abrasions, varying from approximately 6 years to 3 weeks old (see linked file). No tattoos are present.

The head is covered in short black hair, described as straight and well-kept.  A pair of straight, 6 inch horns emit from the top of the cranium, divided into three bands of deep orange, light orange and yellow along their length. No facial hair can be observed.

Examination of the eyes reveals yellow sclera and orange irises, with a single pupil. No damage to the eyes or eyelids is present. Oral and nasal passages are unobstructed. The mouth contains upper and lower rows of small canine teeth in good condition. A deep red tongue is present. No chest deformities can be observed.  Bone structure and physical appearance suggest the gender is male. Nothing recognisable as genitalia is present on the exterior of the subject, although various structures at the groin level appear to act as such. Extremities show no signs of deformation.

**CLOTHING**

The subject was clothed in light armor made of a bright red alloy overlaying a black bodysuit. The armored sections consisted of boots, shin and thigh pads, pelvic covering, torso armor, upper and lower arm pads and gloves. Also present was a belt with pouches containing various personal items (see below). All items have been delivered to Doctor J. English as per regulations. No undergarments were recovered.

**PERSONAL ITEMS**

Recovered from the corpse were two 8 inch long sickles of a light grey alloy, the preferred weapons of the Threshecutioner unit. Also recovered were two spherical devices 4 inches in diameter, five silver sachets 3 inches across, a bottle or canteen 8 inches tall and 1 1/2 inches diameter, a crustacean creature 3 inches in size attached to the wrist via a textile strap (see attatched files) and a photographic image depicting two Alternians at a coastline. All items have been moved into storage as per regulations. One sachet was analysed and found to contain a solid high-protein substance not dissimilar from pork or chicken.

**AUTOPSY NOTES**

The head and chest cavities were entered with the standard coronal incision and standard y- shaped incision respectively. The incisions were performed by Doctor L. Cal. Standard tools were used.

The major surprise with the corpse is the similarity the Alternian's organs exhibit with regards to human organs. Organs analogous to a heart, lungs, liver, stomach, spine, ribcage and their related systems have been observed, although their shapes and locations differ from those of a human. Therefore, it would be more productive to investigate the differences between us rather than marvel over similarities.

The general tissue density of an Alternian is somewhat higher than that of a human. Their bones are also somewhat denser and their muscle fibers are more closely packed. In general, an Alternian can take more physical punishment than a human, although report footage indicates this disparity may not be as pronounced in a battlefield situation. Considering the number of scars on the body, the extra resilience is a trait needed to survive the aggressive lifestyle of the Alternian Empire.

The bone structure of the upper body is divided by clear bone divisions into three sections, akin to the head, thorax and abdomen of an insect. This internal division is not discernable from the exterior of the alien and is possibly a leftover trait from evolution.

Of major note is the color of the blood, which is a dark red regardless of oxygenation level. The pigmentation does not result from any substance actually used in the cells of the Alternian, but from a spongy, marrow-like organ close to the heart that appears to have multplfe functions, such as aiding the heartbeat and manufacturing extra blood. The organ appears to pigment the blood as a byproduct of its mysterious manufacturing process. Whilst the nature of this organ and its uses are currently under debate, it solves the mystery of Alternian blood colours, and why they bleed so profusely and for so long when wounded and killed.

In the chest are six small bundles of muscle in symmetrical pairs down the sides down the torso, corresponding with the scars on the torso. Their structure, and the suggestions of joints at similar points on the ribcage, suggests that limbs were once present. Whatever actually happened to them is, of course, a mystery.

The brain is almost identical to our own, but the hormone glands that would normally control various things such as puberty, emotion and aggression are located elsewhere in the body. The exact nature of this dislocation is under debate, but it is possibly a way of enabling the body to function despite critical injury, making the brain a slightly less attractive target for damage. The implications are not reassuring.

The eyes are large and consistent with other animals that are nocturnal. They are similar to human vision in some respects, but an abundance of optical rods compared to color cones mean the trolls are more sensitive to light, but cannot make out colours and fine details as we do. They also have a wider field of vision than a human eye.

Reproductive organs are located at the groin of the alien, and differ massively from our own. Although their function has not been fully discerned (and on a private note, I don't really want to find out), it is likely trolls are hermaphroditic and are essentially both male and female. Oddly enough, a structure similar to the anterior cingulate cortex can also be observed here, as part of the dislocation of hormone controls described earlier.

Testing of the stomach found traces of protein and fatty acids, suggesting a carnivorous diet. Testing of the teeth and intestine, and the shortened length of the digestive tract, comfirmed this hypothesis. It is safe to assume all trolls are carnivorous and eat meat exclusively.

No toxic chemicals are found in the blood, stomach or organs of the body. DNA tests are a sibling-level match with almost every other Alternian cadaver analysed so far.

**CONCLUSIONS**

Whilst the soldier's moniker of "trolls" is somewhat insulting, it does describe the Alternians perfectly. Grey-skinned and highly destructive, they are formidable warriors and their body structure proves it.

Several questions are raised by this autopsy. First of all, the classification of the Alternians as a species is a complete headache. They show signs of being mammalian, but do display some insect-like qualities, mostly in their bone structure. A whole new classification of animal is not out of the question here, but until we find more decisive evidence we cannot bring an end to this debate. Secondly, the almost sibling-level of closeness in terms of DNA with every other Alternian corpse analysed so far puts the nature of their reproduction into confusion. A likely prospect is that there is a third party involved in their reproductive cycle that we have not yet discovered so far, but various concerns about the depth of the Alternian gene pool are not unfounded. Combine this with their biological similarity to humans, and it's clear that there are many unanswered questions here.

In the field, this particular specimen acts as a shock trooper of some kind, moving rapidly to engage in close combat with an array of cutting tools. They are much more formidable than the Dersite Pawns they accompany and are treated as such, with body armor and survival gear being standard issue. Although they are no more resilient to gunfire than a human soldier in modern battledress, their biological advantages make them somewhat more difficult to put down. Melee combat is not an advised course of action, and is entirely pointless - standard ranged combat tactics are more than enough to combat them. It is paramount that "Treshecutioners" are not allowed into close range as the damage they could potentially deal is not worth the risk. Although helmets do not appear to be standard issue for a Threshecutioner, aiming for centre of mass is perfectly capable of killing an attacking Alternian.

As for practical applications, analysing the compounds used in their armor could prove useful in reverse-engineering weapons and armor that would benefit our troops in the field. The crab-like creature appears to have no discernible function as of yet - tests should commence shortly. The small spheres appear to be grenades of some kind, and tests will commence once a sufficient supply has been recovered.

**RECCOMENDED COURSE OF ACTION**

Continue autopsies on Alternians in order to determine nature of biological issues and learn more about our foe. Capture a live Alternian for interrogation and study in order to provide context for autopsy findings and gain insight into the Alternian Empire's culture and military. Research the composition of alien armor to discover benefits.

**Signed: Dr R. Lalonde.**

**Witnessed by Dr L. Cal and Dr A. Hussie.**

_**Vigilo Confido** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Karkat lovers - the corpse here is not him. Just some random threshecutioner.
> 
> The organs and such here are a mashup of various fanon ideas of toll anatomy with a splash of my own. The "scars" on the sides of the torso are where the legs on a troll wiggler would have been before they dropped off and were replaced by proper arms and legs. The weird blood-making organ is a half-assed answer to the blood colours - their blood is pigmented according to the organ, thus enabling me to avoid having to explain how blood without haemoglobin woks. This organ will turn up later, where its function will be explained and not made up on the spot, honest. Also I threw in "shame globes" because I know you like that weird stuff.
> 
> No I will not describe troll genitals.


	3. Incident Report - "Midnight Crew"

**SburbCom Archives**

**Incident Report**

**Clearance Level: BLACK**

 

**Dated 28th February 2014**

**Witnesses: Sq. Strider, Sq. Egbert, Sgt. Harley, Sq. Lalonde**

**Verified by Central Officer D. Egbert and passed on to Dr Scratch and the Council of Nations**

**Incident Date:**  27th February 2014

 **Incident Time:**  4:12 AM

 **Incident Location:**  Manchester, United Kingdom

**Summary:**

Strike Alpha was deployed to suburbs of Manchester in response to reports of alien activity (see linked map of combat area). Operation codenamed  **[REDACTED]**. 

Approx 15 minutes after Skyranger touched down, Sgt. Harley reported sighting of aliens designated Pawns and was cleared to engage. Strike Alpha proceeded to engage hostile forces but came under sustained fire. Strike Alpha was forced to disengage from the area due to the scale of enemy firepower. Strike Alpha incurred no fatalities and made two confirmed kills and inflected a further casualty. Sq. Lalonde and Sq. Strider received wounds and required medical treatment upon return to the base.

Primary reason for mission failures was failure to properly identify the enemy before engagement. Whilst Sgt. Harley identified the hostiles as Dersite Pawn units, this was a misidentification due to similarity of appearance between Dersites and the hostile forces encountered. This resulted in the squad underestimating the firepower and strength of the enemy force.

**Details of Mission:**

At 0428 hours, 15 minutes after Skyranger touched down, Sgt. Harley reported sighting of 2 contacts in front of a semi-detected house. Description matched physical description of Dersite Warriors in previous missions. Video footage confirms this initial report was correct. Green light was given to engage by Central and Strike Alpha proceeded to open fire upon the hostile units.

Two Dersites were neutralised in the opening volley. The remaining Dersite began firing upon Strike Alpha with a pistol. Sq. Strider was lightly wounded in this initial volley and Sq. Lalonde moved to provide assistance. The Dersite took cover behind a low wall and, despite sustained fire, could not be dislodged.

At this point, multiple new contacts appeared. Video footage shows them as aliens similar in appearance to Dersite pawns, but much taller and with different physical structure. Contacts were also clothed in long dark coats and hats. One contact, approx 7 feet tall and wielding a light machine gun, appeared from the window of a neighbouring house and pinned Strike Alpha behind an opposing garden wall, preventing retaliation. At the same time, Sq. Lalonde suffered injuries from gunfire from the upper floor of the opposing building. Camera footage shows a glimpse of a tall figure taking cover in the left window of the building.

Sq. Egbert proceeded to use a phosphorous stun grenade to halt the incoming fire. Sgt. Harley called for a fall-back, and Strike Alpha managed to retreat to an adjacent building before the hostiles could pursue.

Before alternate tactics could be implemented, the façade of the building was damaged by an unknown explosive force. At this point, Central Officer D. Egbert gave the order to retreat, but Strike Alpha could not comply due to the renewed gunfire upon their position. A second impact partially collapsed the house and trapped Strike Alpha within. Camera audio feed failed at this time.

Sq. Strider proceeded to co-ordinate with the members of his squad in a plan to escape the building. Moving to the remaining upper windows of the house they were trapped in, Strike Alpha returned fire, and Sgt. Harley managed to hit the large hostile with her sniper rifle, incapacitating the target. This prompted the other two Dersites to fall back, allowing Strike Alpha to retreat to the Skyranger via the windows of the building.

**Conclusions:**

Mission failure occurred due to the following:

  * Lack of intel regarding the nature of the enemy.
  * Failure to identify potential avenues of danger.
  * Failure to equip squad properly for mission parameters.
  * Encounter of new type of hostile resulting in unknown parameters.



**Observations** **(from Dr R. Lalonde)**

The existence of variants of the Dersite, particularly ones that can co-ordinate in the manner exhibited in this operation, adds a massive complication to our operations. Our squads do not currently have the firepower to combat such a threat, and we can no longer assume every Dersite seen on the battlefield will be as disposable as the soldiers we have seen previously. It is telling that no Alternians were observed during the mission logs – this behaviour is not consistent with previous Alternian doctrines concerning the Dersites. The true nature of our foe is, once again, shrouded from us.

Although the unidentified explosives recorded in the combat footage are assumed to be conventional, I have my doubts. Never assume anything is conventional with our enemy. I’ll believe it when we find the cause and cut it open.

**Recommended Course of Action:**

  * Ensure evacuation of immediate area of civilians. Inform United Kingdom Government of situation and arrange compensation as nessecary.
  * Return to site as soon as possible and attempt to secure area.
  * Award Sq. Egbert and Strider medals for quick thinking in the face of adversity.
  * Prioritise live alien capture in all future missions to prevent situations of this nature reoccurring.



Signed – **Dr R. Lalonde, Central Officer D. Egbert**

**_Vigilo Confido_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.mspaintadventures.com/extras/ps000018_2.gif


	4. Interrogation Report - Cavalreaper "Tavros Nitram"

**CAVALREAPER "TAVROS NITRAM"**

**INTERROGATION OF ENEMY SOLDIER**

**SburbCom Research and Development Division**

**Dr R. Lalonde**

**_The following report is compiled from information derived from prisoners of war. The statements made cannot always be verified; they should therefore not be accepted as facts unless they are definitely stated to be confirmed by information from other sources ._ **

**OPENING REMARKS**

The capture of a live Alternian marks a breakthrough in our war effort. We can actually communicate with the captured soldier and gain insight into the Alternian military structure, culture and mindset. Our soldiers cannot be thanked enough for our efforts - special mention, however, must go to Sergeant Jade Harley, for managing to subdue our subject non-violently.

The captured alien was part of an assault force attacking an air force base in Mexico. SburbCom forces responded in a timely manner and managed to prevent what could have been a disastrous loss. The alien was found trapped beneath its fallen mount, disarmed and in distress. Sgt. Harley managed to calm the wounded soldier and administered it a dosage of morphine from Sq. Lalonde's medical kit, rendering it docile enough to be transported to SburbCom HQ. Although I agree with Command that her actions were foolish and dangerous, I instead suggest her aptitude be harnessed by issuing her an Arc Thrower and letting her head all capture efforts in the future.

Unfortunately, interrogation has not provided much in the way of reliable information concerning military matters. The soldier is relatively young and inexperienced, and could only divulge information that was required of its particular duties. Propaganda from the enemy also appears to have caused it to believe it would be killed or tortured if captured, and thus it was reluctant to divulge anything that it felt would harm the efforts of its allies. Cultural information, however, was much easier to gather, and the captive had provided several valuable insights into the Alternian way of life.

In any event, the acquisition of the soldier signals a leap forward in our understanding of the Alternians. We shall keep the soldier for captivity in some time and arrange further sessions in order to attempt to divulge more information. The eventual fate of our captive will be discussed at a later date.

**OBSERVATIONS**

The captive responds to the name of "Tavros Nitram" (see attached files on Alternian language) and uses the Alternian equivalent of a male gender pronoun in reference to itself, and thus these will be used for the rest of this report.

Tavros is a brown-blooded Alternian, about 5 ft 7 inches in height with a slim build. His hair is styled in what, in Earth terms, would be a Mohawk. His horns are fairly large, each approximately two feet long and extending from the parietal area of the skull for two thirds of their length before turning upwards at ninety degrees. His upper half is dressed in typical Alterian body armor in his blood color, covering the torso, arms and neck. There is a symbol similar to the Taurus astrological sign etched into his right shoulder pad.

Tavro's entire lower body from the waist down, which is covered by the undersuit of his armor, has been augmented by a frame of hydraulics that attach to his leg bones and feet via surgery, interfacing with the lower spine via cybernetics that we have not fully examined yet. Medical examinations reveal that our subject is paralysed from the waist down due to spinal fracture. The frame is intended to allow the soldier to walk and fight normally. Tavros was reticent on the subject of his disabled state, but did reveal that full prosthetic replacements were not available due to reasons stated below.

Tavros' behavioural disposition is unlike any Alternian we have seen so far. He is withdrawn, socially awkward, and finds it difficult to articulate in conversation. He often refers to fairy tales and myths on his homeworld, and has shown no violence towards staff or security since his incarceration. It is difficult to believe he could serve in a military capacity, but his testimonies indicate he may have not had a choice in the matter.

Items confiscated from Tavros' person include a standard-issue Cavalreaper helmet, rations and canteen, a lance approximately six feet long, another crustacean accessory (which Tavros identifies as a communicator, a claim we have yet to verify), and an item identified as a playing card from a popular Alternian recreational sport called "Fiduspawn," taken into battle as a lucky charm. After making the appropriate safety checks, the playing card was returned to the captive. The corpse of his steed, a purple creature that fits no known classification, is in the morgue awaiting autopsy.

**INTERROGATION METHOD**

Despite suggestions to deploy cranial probes, I do not believe that this would have been the correct procedure to use. Tavros had been recently wounded and injected with chemicals that may have interacted with his body in ways we cannot anticipate, and thus it is likely he would not be physically capable of surviving the procedure. Furthermore, I would like to remind my staff and Command that if we see fit to rip our knowledge from the minds of our captives and discard their corpses, then we become the monsters we are fighting. We must keep a superior moral position, if not for sentimental reasons, then to avoid confirming enemy propaganda and strengthening their resolve.

Instead, a more conventional method was used. Interviews with the captive were set at regular times in an environment the subject would find comfortable. Using our preliminary translations of Alternian speech, we encouraged the subject to communicate back and correct us in our mistakes, creating a rapport and allowing us to ask questions without making him uncomfortable. I would like to thank Dr. W Richards for his efforts in translating the Alternian language in order to make this possible.

This took several weeks to achieve. Although the Alternian language seems fairly close to Latin-derived languages in construction and grammar, various subtleties like body language and emphasis on words or syllables had to be learned. I can now report that I am the first person on Earth to speak Troll.

**CULTRUAL FINDINGS**

Because Tavros was encouraged to talk about his own experiences first in order to make him feel at ease, we have discovered much about Alternian culture.

Alternians originate from one of the twin moons of a gas giant. These moons are populated entirely by juveniles, and are apparently very dangerous places with much in the way of hostile wildlife. They are nocturnal and measure time in a system fairly analogous to us - Tavros identified himself as eight "solar sweeps" old, which via the use of bone structure comparisons and various mental development tests we approximate to be around eighteen Earth years. Each sweep is therefore two and a third Earth years.

When questioned about the decision to house their children on a dangerous planet, Tavros explained that the Adult Alternians were offworld, looking to conquer and expand their territory. It is expected that the juvenile trolls should be capable of survival until recruiting ships arrive to select candidates from the mature members of the colony for drafting into the military or related structures. Several automated services exist to aid the juvenile Alternians settle and grow up, but their safety is not guaranteed. This not only demonstrates that our enemy is much stronger than anticipated and almost entirely militarized, but also that theories about parental bonding being key to evolutionary success amongst intelligent species are suspect, as the Alternians are content to let their offspring struggle to survive.

Alternians are a multi-gender species, or to be more exact, a hermaphroditic species with symbiotic relationships to two others - a "mother grub" that gestates the offspring and "lusus" creatures that act as temporary caretakers. Alternians do not recognise gender as a critical identifying trait, although male/female body structures and gender pronouns exist. Tavros was aware of our status as mammals - apparently there is some propaganda about the subject. Partnership is determined by "quadrants" that are heavily tied to some kind of spiritualism or tradition and would take far too long to explain here. Trolls have no word for romantic love, the closest equivalent being "pity."

Because the space-bound adults are in charge of acquiring resources, there is no wide-scale agriculture or industry on Alternia. A system exists to distribute supplies and deliver information, but the nature of this is uncertain. The overall effect appears to be that the culture of the Alternian Empire is atrophying - much of Tavros' personal anecdotes relayed very little in the way of immediately useful information, instead focusing on games, fairy tales and other idle distractions. I hypothesise that, as Trolls grow into space-faring adults, they reinforce their adolescent ideas with jingoistic propaganda and thus feed future generations the same inanity via their entertainment, resulting in a damaged culture.

One critical fact was gleaned from our interrogations. Alternians are segregated by blood color, warm colors being lowest on the "haemospectrum" and cool colours being in positions of power, with fuchsia being the ruling caste. This segregation dictates social status to a huge degree. Lower castes are not eligible for the same levels of housing, medical treatment and quality of life as those in higher castes, and lethal violence and persecution towards those of a lower blood color appears to be entirely acceptable in Alternian culture. Tavros implied his disabled legs were inflicted by someone of a higher caste, but did not specify whom and why. He was unable to apply for prosthetic replacements due to his status and was fitted with his current harness instead.

**MILITARY FINDINGS**

Although Tavros was reticent on factors of Alternian military structure, we have managed to acquire some facts that could prepare us for further incursions.

The haemospectrum controls many aspects of military doctrine. Because lower blood castes are seen as expendable, they make up the bulk of front-line soldiers and low-grade utility workers. The vast majority of Threshecutioners and Cavalreapers have blood colors that range from red to yellow, confirming prior autopsy and after-action reports. Higher blood castes tend to take either commanding positions or more specialized battlefield roles, including infiltrators, medical personnel and heavy weapons specialists. Tavros could not give every possible military role, but he named "Ruffiannihilators," "Subjuggulators" and "Archeradicators" as considerable threats.

The low-caste soldiers are only given enough information and equipment to carry out their orders, and are discouraged from lateral thinking or disobeying orders. Tavros attested that instructions from his commanders were laden with propaganda calling the human race "pathetic mammals" that could be crushed with little effort. However, he made various comments of rumors amongst his platoon that said our heavy use of ranged weapons and our refusal to back down to the Empire's shock tactics were being met with some surprise by the commanders.

Organisation is fairly similar to our own military structure. Tavros' unit, a "stable" of eight or so Cavalreapers, reported to a sergeant-equivalent figure who communicated with four other stables as part of a “stampede”, lead by an "olive-blood" lieutenant-equivalent. However, further details were unable to be gathered. It is presumed that organisation would continue in a similar manner, with the lieutenants responding to a further commander in charge of multiple Cavalreaper platoons, all the way up to a commander in charge of an entire army. It is presumable that they then report to admirals in the Alternian fleets, or to Major-Generals.

The focus on melee combat could not be explained by our subject. He suggested that perhaps it was more honorable, or that higher-blood castes were prioritised for the protection ranged combat allows. When asked about the Pawns, he replied that he did not know their origin, and that he had assumed they were automated drones of some kind. Lower caste Alternians tend to take their anger out on the Pawns or empathise with them alternatively.

Further information was difficult to gather. Tavros was adamant that any information he gave could not be used to hurt his network of friends, who apparently all serve in the invading force assaulting Earth at this time. He refused to give details about base locations, training methods, recruitment processes, vehicles or ships, or even what roles his friends served in the military. Perusing these enquiries would cause significant distress and he would refuse to answer further questions, delaying the interrogation significantly. He was also unable to give more detail about what we had already found due to language barriers.

**SUMMARY**

Thanks to Tavros' insight, we have made significant breakthroughs in understanding our enemy. It was slow going – early sessions consisted of questions with yes-no answers delivered in clumsy Alternian – but the effort was worth it.

The Alternian Empire appears to have many advantages over us. Its nature as a carnivorous, locust-like state, coupled with vast military might and a structure that allows it to pull troops from anywhere in the Empire, grants it a sheer numerical advantage over us. Superior technology and an ability to strike anywhere at any time are powerful weapons. Taken alone, it seems we are doomed. But there is one glimmer of hope.

The Alternians are here for our resources. They want our planet for conversion into a staging ground for further conquests, as they have done with many other planets in the past and indeed their own homeworld. They could not risk using weapons that could harm our ecology if they intend to secure it. We have no such reservations. The Alternians must hold back - we do not have to. Coupled with their inefficient military doctrines and exploitable command structure, it is likely we can at the very least delay our destruction to the point where the Alternians give up subjugating us as a lost cause.

We must act now before they think to deploy stronger forces. I have devised a three-step plan in order to achieve maximum damage to the invaders:

1) Begin training our troops to target any possible commanders in the field as priority. Thankfully, Sgt. Major Dirk Strider has noticed that Alternians have a fondness for clothing themselves in their own blood color, making this less of a trial for us. This will also enable our soldiers to identify enemy specialists and disable them quickly before they can multiply the effectiveness of a force. If we cut off the head of the snake, the body will die. We should attempt to apply this theory to the invaders as a whole - locate an admiral and either capture or kill it to disrupt cohesion of enemy forces.

2) Locate a base of operations for the Alternian Forces. It is possible that the enemy's deployment is not limited by fuel, but setting up a staging area would be convenient for them. If we can locate and destroy it, it will set the invading force back and grant us time for further armament, research and training. Securing enemy communications equipment would be a huge victory for us, as would capturing any high-ranking ground commander.

3) Begin reverse-engineering enemy technology as soon as possible. Dr Jake English has confirmed that the alloy used in Alternian body armor, dubbed either "Alternium" or "Trollium" by our engineers, could potentially be combined with our own manufacturing techniques to produce suits of armor that are exponentially more effective than our current options. The only limit would be the amount of alloy we can recover from the enemy.

I believe this single brown-blooded troll has given us a glimpse of hope. Let us not see it snuffed out.

I await your decisions, Command.

**Signed: Dr R. Lalonde.**

**Witnessed by Dr L. Cal and Dr W. Roberts.**

**_Vigilo Confido_ **

_P.S. Sgt. Harley has been witness to several of our interrogations, and has even attempted to talk to Tavros herself. I cautioned her on the dangers of fraternisation, but it seems that, due to perceived similarities (age? personality? something else?), Tavros is more willing to open up to Jade than to me. I cannot suggest using our soldiers as our go-betweens, but surely no harm can be done via simple communication?_

* * *

  **Message to Central Officer Egbert from High Council of Nations**

**Subject: Recent Interrogations**

Central Officer Egbert,

It has come to our attention that recent reports from Miss Lalonde's lab seem to be losing their professional tone. Scientific interest is one thing, but we cannot condone fraternising with the enemy, especially not on the part of our soldiers. If the captive were to escape, the repercussions would be dire.

We also cannot guarantee that we can continue to fund the continued captivity of the alien if it will not produce further information for our efforts.

We hope you understand our concerns.

We will be watching.

**Dr Scratch and the Council of Nations**

_**Vigilo Confido** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wrote 3000 words about Tavros Nitram.
> 
> I ship Jade/Tavros in the same way I ship everything else - very vaguely in a "this is neat" way because I'm not very invested in fandoms. Every ship is canon anyway.


End file.
